The silence is deafening...
I shifted to my side, perhaps the hundredth time I have changed my position since the time I laid in my bed.
'Sleep..sleep..sleep'
It was everything that was going through my head. I shifted again. My mind is blank. But then again, like every other sleepless nights, it has drifted again to that same, annoying thought. Over and over again.
I have dreaded this thoughts the moment it first came to me. I don't want to think about it. To think about him. But I guess there's no help defeating or stopping a wandering mind. Especially if in your heart you know you wouldn't want to stop it. Who am I to go against it, when the usually competing heart and mind are teaming up against me? I am just a mere vessel to contain them. I do not, cannot control it. They control me.
I hear the clock tick. My little sister's soft breathing as she she herself is drowning in her own dreams... I want to drown in my own dreams too. But I can't, cause I know that even in my dreams these thoughts will continue to hunt me. He will never leave me alone.
How many years has it been? How many precious sleep have I lost? How many more must I endure?
This will be over soon. That's what I want to say. But no, I know I couldn't lie to myself. Because in every one of these nights, the musings just continue to dig deeper. The longing getting stronger.
I guess there's no helping it. I'll endure it, and I'll continue to endure it until that persistent knight that has been hunting me will finally hear my pleas.
'Help me. Please come save me....'
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